Baby Blabber
So, i'm almost 100% certain that anybody who's had a baby would write the same thing 'cos, y'know, they all feel that it's amazing and HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ANYONE ELSE...
but, HAHAHA! This is my interweb space so I can do it all I want...no matter how redundant...
Okay, look, there are things that nobody tells you about the reality of having a newborn...or if they have, you just shrug and think "whatev's, no way dooooooooood...." But, the reality of it is...it's wayyyyy more intense than you could ever expect. It's also true that you'll forget how intense, which is why people even have more kids...but that's a different topic...
First, no matter how much you think you're prepared, have your shit in order, you're not. No really, you're not. I know people (who don't have kids, and btw, I used to be one of them...) who will say "Whatever, having a kid is easy. I don't have to change my life. I'll be doing the same thing, no matter what..."
AAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHHHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAH!!!!
Yeah...no. No, you won't. Not physically, not psychologically, not in any way.
The next biggest hurdle is the sleep deprivation. This is the one that I didn't think i'd have a probem with cos, you know, insomnia...but holy crap. HOLY. CRAP. Literally, it's like being wasted drunk. One night I woke up from a 15 minute power nap and grabbed the pillow and tried to feed it. Literally. Last night I woke up when the baby cried and I was in my own bed...and I asked myself "how did I get back in my bed? I thought I was downstairs...."
Before I had a kid, i'd never changed a diaper before. Now, I do nothing but change diapers. I'm a pro. I can do that in under a minute...including powdering/butt cream/etc...and it strangely doesn't gross me out.
The last change that I never expected is my personal-life priority shift. I don't have time or the inclination to give two-flying fucks whether I miss a party, what viewpoints/opinions/next-big-thing someone is yapping about, or even what shows/concert/hangout/bullshitting-session i'm missing out on. I'm not missing out on anything. Or rather, my priorities shifted so far over I only have time to care about what's really important, not what someone else thinks I should think is important. I only have room to care about the kid, my husband, my design work, and keeping my house from turning into a mess. Needless to say, kid and husband take up 99% of that right now.
Last, I thought the unsolicited advice was bad when I was pregnant...but it gets 1,000% worse when you have the kid. Everyone has an opinion. And BTW, 99% of them don't have kids. "Feed him this, don't feed him that, do this, do that," and on and on and onnnnnnn.....Look. I get it. One day you'll have kids and they'll be perfect. Absolutely. Go ahead and have them and prove your point(s). If you don't have them, STFU. Seriously. And if you DO have kids, congrats! I'm super glad that worked for you! Your kid is perfect, seriously. My kid hates that idea so i'm not gonna do it right now.
And, bottom line, BIGGEST CHANGE...you realize how much you can love. How easily your heart can break in two just from a cry, and how much room there is left in your heart to love the little dumpling even more. It's kinda overwhelming. This includes your spouse. I never realized how much I love/need/respect my husband. There's a different light in his eyes when he's with his son that, again, tugs the heartstrings a little bit tighter. Sappy? You betcha! True? Absolutely! And that's not even scratching the surface. If you can make it through the first two weeks, you can make it through anything. Seriously...
